For the past few years, I’ve been trying my best to keep myself busy with creating a Book Blog as well as starting up a Bookstagram page and while I don’t think what I’m creating and coming out with is particularly bad, I know that I am just personally terrible at doing both things.
Why, you ask?
I feel like it’s a culmination of things, from having the attention span of a squirrel to sometimes lacking motivation, but most of all I’m quite forgetful. I could have the best intentions in the world to post frequently, to write amazing and insightful posts, but then I turn my focus on something else and poof! The thought is gone! And it might not come back for hours! That’s on me.
Before the pandemic hit this year, I really did have good intentions to work on this blog and make it something I was so proud of, and I am, but I am not overly proud with how I’ve kept up with it. Like many of us had said, maybe if 2020 had gone differently I wouldn’t be feeling the way that I am and maybe I would have done a better job keeping up with the blog and really immersing myself the way it deserved. But I didn’t. And I think the worst part is that if I let this blog trickle into obscurity again, once the now-cancelled renewal date for my site plan passes in a few months, I’d be pretty ok with that. This year was an experimentation of sorts and I love what I’ve put out and what I’ve written but it’s getting back to the point where I have to force myself to care about the blog and that is what I’m not ok with.
But I think with Bookstagram, though I do enjoy setting up posts and sharing my thoughts, my terribleness really shines through in keeping up with other pages and not just my own. I forget to go on for a few days, make a post and binge like whatever’s on my feed, and then log off for many days at a time. Rinse and repeat. Although, the fault in that aspect isn’t wholly mine because Instagram has such a terrible algorithm that you only see what’s popular or what’s from accounts you frequently interact with rather than chronological order. I know, what a wild concept; seeing things in chronological order! Who woulda thunk it???
I’ve said before that having a presence on social media means that you have to sell a particular version of yourself, often a fake one, to get others to really notice what you’re doing and the thing I’m lacking is commitment to that sale. It’s like if you like my stuff then you like it, but I can’t really make myself force you to like me; not anymore. If that makes me a terrible blogger and Bookstagrammer then so be it.
Should I try to change my ways and be more attentive and involved? Sure. That can be my New Years resolution. But am I going to lose sleep over it? Eh, probably not. But hey, that’s my character flaw.
I’m sorry that I’m terrible at this and I never intentionally set out to be bad. I’m sorry I can’t remember to pay attention more. And I’m sorry for not posting more or the way a lot of other bloggers do.
But I’m not sorry for my content. And that’s really what matters in the end.